Sheesh-why do I feel like I have a ton of bricks on my chest. I still mourn for my terrible decision 13 years ago yesterday. I need to get some help about this I know.
I also hate this house and I wish we had bought that one on Honeysuckle with the pool. I think it would have been a better investment. In a year or so they'll start building their "upscale strip mall" across the way, there will be enterprise behind our house and I just cannot stand to look at all that work in the back and front yard.
I'm depressed our vacation is over and Michael is in Suffolk. I am so wanting to do something. I guess I really am depressed. Tears are coming to my eyes and I am so sad.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
If I could go back 13 years what would I do differently?
I don't know, and that's the honest truth and that's what bothers me most. I do hope I would change what I did. Heck, I if I could go back to May 10, 1996, I would have stayed at home. Then I would have known. I hate this day. I wish I could forgive myself but I cannot. Everytime I look at my daughter I relive this. I doubt I will ever get over t his. My life irrecovibly changed 13 years ago today. My heart has been broken and someone else was killed. God, please help me to forgive myself.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Vacation
Well, we've been home from Chicago since Tuesday afternoon. I am saddened in many ways. I will never see many of these people again. But I can't write right now, too sad.
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